Physical and Sexual Violence

8 ways people exert power and control

Using coercion and threats

• making and or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her

• threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare

• making her drop charges 

• making her do illegal things 

 

Using intimidation

• making her afraid by using looks actions gestures

• smashing things 

• destroying her property 

• abusing pets 

• displaying weapons

 

Using emotional abuse

• putting her down 

• making her feel bad about herself 

• calling her names 

• making her think she's crazy 

• playing mind games 

• humiliating her 

• making her feel guilty

 

Using isolation

• controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes 

• limiting her outside involvement 

• using jealousy to justify actions

 

Minimizing denying and blaming 

• making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns seriously 

• saying the abuse didn't happen 

• shifting the responsibility for abusive behavior 

• saying she caused it

 

Using children 

• making her feel guilty about the children 

• using the children to relay messages 

• using visitation to harass her

• threatening to take the children away 

 

Using male privilege 

• treating her like a servant 

• making all the big decisions 

• acting like the ‘master’ of the castle 

• being the one to define men's and women's roles

 

Using economic abuse 

• preventing her from getting or keeping a job 

• making her ask for money 

• giving her an allowance 

• taking her money 

• not letting her know about or have access to family income 

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